Thanks to support from Stephanie von Bismarck.
Cecile Fjellhøy, the romance fraud survivor who rose to global attention through the Tinder Swindler documentary, has opened up about her experience on How Do We Manage?, hosted by Stephanie von Bismarck.
In the episode, Fjellhøy shares her deeply personal experience of being the target of romance fraud — a form of abuse that left her emotionally and financially devastated. Since the events depicted in the Netflix documentary, she has become an activist, public speaker, and co-founder of LoveSaid, an organisation dedicated to supporting survivors of romance fraud.
“To become a victim of this you have to be a good person. You have to be loving, caring and giving,” Fjellhøy explains in the episode, addressing the common shame felt by victims.
She speaks candidly about the psychological manipulation she endured and offers practical advice for spotting red flags. From love bombing and fake social media profiles to seemingly sincere but ultimately empty promises, Fjellhøy warns listeners: “Fraudsters check for compliance. They are looking for traits that they can exploit, as well as traits to mould themselves around you to become the person you want them to be.”
Fjellhøy also reflects on the lasting emotional impact of the experience. “Did he even like me?” she admits to asking herself even now — a poignant reminder of the psychological aftermath that lingers long after the fraud is exposed.
The conversation is part of How Do We Manage?, a show that explores the challenges of modern life, from technology and online safety to nutrition, neurodiversity and environment.
Listen to the full episode here.
